Birth Day

I woke up around 2:30am on July 20th and used the loo. Then, as I climbed back into bed I felt a trickle and made a run for the bathroom. The liquid kept coming. Instantly, I thought my water had broken. I softly called out to Dave to let him know what had happened. He wasn’t so convinced. Mainly because Saturday nights are when he catches up on his rest and he was very sleepy. I wasn’t having any contractions. I decided to call the birth centre to see what I should do next. After reviewing the situation they asked us to come in so they could assess me in person. Dave dragged his feet a bit about going in. Again, I think this was because he was very tired and in a bit of denial. At one point he even suggested we take the night bus to the hospital! Considering the fact I was leaking large amounts of fluid more or less continuously I nixed that idea pretty quickly. We ordered a taxi instead. In the meantime I put on a tank top and a pair of athletic capris and gathered my maternity notes, a water bottle, and some snacks.

When the taxi arrived the driver couldn’t have been any nicer! We explained the situation and I put down a trash bag, a towel, and a maternity mat to sit on. The driver had three kids of his own, told us how amazing parenthood is, and even asked if I’d have a water birth like his wife did with his last child. When we arrived at the hospital we were a bit turned around but found the birth centre entrance eventually. I am so glad that we had a trial run when I wasn’t having contractions because by then we knew exactly where to go and what to expect later on. We checked in at reception and were led to a private room. There I met two midwives who checked my vitals, the baby’s heartbeat, and a pad they’d asked me to bring in. They confirmed my water had broken but because I wasn’t having contractions they set a time to induce me at 1am the following morning. This is because there’s a slight increase in the risk of infection if active labour hasn’t started within 24 hours. Dave ordered another cab home. This time the driver was less reassuring. When we told him my water had broken he declared he couldn’t believe they were letting me leave. Then the driver launched into an elaborate, enthusiastic retelling of the time he delivered a passenger’s baby in his car! He’d waited outside for the client to come for a long time and was about to leave when the man waved from the window while brushing his teeth. Then a few minutes later the man and his nephew appeared carrying a heavily pregnant woman (his wife) who was in active labour. They drove to the hospital but just before they arrived she had her baby in the backseat! The driver claimed he was the only calm one (but you’d never know it by the way he told the story!) and had to instruct the husband and nephew what to do. He reached the hospital and turned the family over to the medical staff. His dramatic tale wrapped up just as we pulled into our driveway. 

We climbed into bed around 6am to try and get some rest. Easier said than done! Dave conked out but try as I might I couldn’t. Around 8am, with the induction deadline looming in my mind, I decided it was time to do what I could to get the contractions started. I had some essential oils to use for the birth. Jasmine is supposed to help cause effective contractions and relieve pain. So, I mixed it with grapeseed oil and rubbed some on my belly. I also put some in an electric diffuser. Mainly, I bounced relentlessly on my exercise ball in the living room. Much to my relief I started to feel contractions around 10:30am. The sensation started in my lower back and spread to my belly. I called Eleonora, our doula, to let her know that the baby was coming early. She encouraged me to continue bouncing and keep her posted. She said she’d come over whenever we were ready for her to join us. I felt okay, and very much in control, so I asked Dave to go to the store and get snacks and drinks for labour and afterwards. I made a peach smoothie, rubbed some more oil on my belly, and kept bouncing. Dave came back from the store. I had asked him to get me three bottles of coconut water to keep my hydrated. He accidentally got coconut milk instead! So, back to the store he went. He also ran into our neighbour, Jon Pierre, and shared the news. I started timing the contractions on a phone app around 12:30pm. They were very irregular to start. They lasted about 30 seconds to a minute and were spaced between five and twenty minutes apart. For the most part I could still time them myself and happily chatted between surges. I was on all fours resting over the exercise ball at this point. Dave turned the cricket. Around 2:30pm he started to type up our birth plan at my request. I tend to obsess over the way I phrase things when I write and as we reviewed what he’d typed I felt increasingly stressed out. It’s hard to be a perfectionist when you’re in labour! I could tell my worries were starting to slow the contractions down and this caused me to get upset and cry. 

We decided it was time to ask Eleonora to come over. She arrived around 3:30pm. Between surges I knelt back and explained what had been happening and that I felt a bit down about not having the birth plan prepared and that my contractions had slowed as a result. Just as I finished talking a contraction came and I returned to all fours over the ball. Eleonora rubbed my back and Dave finished the document. The contractions picked up and were about 45 seconds to a 80 seconds in length and from 90 seconds to fourteen minutes apart between 4pm to 5pm. Soon I couldn’t time the surges myself. I would lift my finger and Dave would record it. They got closer together and longer. From 5pm until 7pm my contractions were about a minute to two minutes long and anywhere from 90 seconds to six minutes apart. I was still in the living room resting over the exercise ball. I listened to a hypnobirth relaxation track on repeat and then switched to a playlist of calming yoga songs. I know I sang quietly along to the instrumental version of “Ganesh is Fresh” by MC Yogi at one point. Ha! That’s about the point where my inhibitions started to go away. I slipped deeper and deeper into the zone. As the intensity increased I became more vocal which I found helpful. I remember hazily thinking it was weird that the neighbours could hear me labouring. At some point my body felt uncomfortable enough to decide it was time to relocate to the bathroom. I put on my swimsuit and got in the bathtub with my knees resting on a cushion and my arms resting on the side of the tub. Eleonora and Dave took turns spraying hot water on my lower back. While the power of the surges was immense, the hot water provided me with so much pain relief and I focused completely and totally on breathing through each contraction as it arose. I was in my own world by then and thankfully Eleonora and Dave had the wherewithal to call the hospital to say that they thought I was ready to go in. The midwife on the line wanted to talk to me to verify I was at a suitable point to travel to the birth centre. My moans reassured her! Now, this is where things started to get more challenging. Getting out of the security and warmth of the shower was so difficult! I remember Eleonora helping me get dressed as I was doubled over the bathroom sink riding out surge after surge. Dave called a taxi but didn’t mention I was in labour. After 20 minutes it still hadn’t arrived. I was standing in the kitchen with my head resting on the cool countertop by this point. I felt surprisingly calm as Eleonora rubbed my back. Dave called the taxi company again and they said they still hadn’t allocated a driver for us. So, he cancelled the booking and called another agency who had a driver to us very quickly. I was still in the zone but aware of the flurry of activity around me. Eleonora and Dave got me and the bags into the car. I was in the backseat with my eyes closed. As we drove I opened them twice - once at Highgate and once just as we neared the turn off to the hospital. Otherwise, my full attention was on extending my exhale to help cope with my discomfort. I felt shockingly serene for such a big transition. We were dropped by the entrance to the maternity unit and birth centre. 

Just as we checked in at reception there was a loud clap of thunder. Otherwise, the halls were very quiet and empty. I found this surprising because I just assumed there’d be many other women labouring loudly but that was not the case. We were led to a room in the birth centre. It happened to be the same room I’d visited earlier in the day. Now, this is were things get very hazy. I’ve had to review what happened with Dave and Eleonora several times because I don’t recall the order of things once we reached the hospital. I *think* this is what happened next… There was a shift change of the midwives on duty. While we waited for their help I knelt on the floor of the bathroom and used the heat from the shower as pain relief. 

The midwives, who happened to be the same ones from the previous evening, came and we went into the main room so they could check my blood pressure, my heart rate, and Indigo’s heart rate. My blood pressure was high, and my heart rate was fast. I think they checked how much I was dilated at this point. I had to be in a semi-reclined position for the examination and by far this was the most painful part of the entire labour process. Eleonora reassured me that once I changed positions I would feel better. She was right. The midwives waited, I think about twenty minutes, and took those vital signs again. Mine were still high and fast. We went through this process several times. All the while I was standing to the side of the bed doubled over, trying to focus on getting through each contraction which were growing in intensity and rolling on top of one another. At some point I ripped the monitor on my finger off and threw it because it distracted me from the task at hand - to focus my energy and attention on my breath so I could birth our baby. We can’t remember why, but they also decided to take a blood sample. They didn’t get enough from the first stick so I had to be pricked a second time. All of this during the peak of my labour. Suddenly, I could feel immense pressure within my pelvis and knew her head was coming down. At this point I was really fed up. I kept repeating “You don’t understand, she’s coming now. I can feel her moving down. I need to get in the pool!” I also started to feel like I might be sick, although that never actually came to pass. After what seemed like an eternity I was finally allowed to climb in the water. Dave said I practically sprinted! 

I knelt with my arms resting on the side of the pool with Dave in front of me. Apparently I was in there for about 90 minutes to two hours. The time had a strange, elastic quality where it felt as if it was passing slowly and quickly at the same time. Because I had been so terribly uncomfortable during the monitoring out of the water, this part felt easier by contrast. Her head would inch down and then recede back up. Two steps forward, one step back. I had this fear that things weren’t progressing quickly enough and the midwives would make me go to the maternity ward instead. This caused me to try to rush things. If I had it to do over again I would have slowed down and not forced this part so much. Eleonora noticed I was rising up with my body and voice during each contraction. She encouraged me to sink down into the feeling rather than try to rise out of it. The midwives also suggested breathing down into my bottom. All of this made sense to me and I modified my actions to follow their advice. It helped. I continued to kneel facing towards Dave. I felt intense, uncomfortable pressure as Indigo moved down and her head crowned. Everyone cheered me on in hushed voices. There was a pause and then shortly thereafter her body was birthed. She floated behind me and the midwives redirected her under the water to come in between my legs. There, I caught my baby and brought her to the surface for her first breath. I sat back and cuddled her to my chest. It was just before 10:30pm. Dave and I did not cry but were deeply moved by the experience and joyfully overwhelmed by her arrival. We welcomed her again and again by her name as we waited for the cord to stop pulsing. Then, Dave cut the cord. I handed Indigo over and got out of the pool. I sat on a birthing stool and waited a short time until the placenta made it’s exit. They rolled a bed with stirrups on it into the room and I got stitches for two two degree tears. I had local anaesthetic and made use of the gas and air at this point. I remember this part being quite painful but once the drugs kicked in I started to feel better. Dave was holding Indigo and sitting in a chair across the room. Eleanora held my hand throughout the entire procedure, encouraging me throughout. The gas and air was fabulous! I saw pinwheels and stars and apologised to everyone for being difficult and thanked them for all of their hard work and help. I was high as a kite! Ha! However, I don’t think I would have liked to feel this way during labour. 

Now, remember that clap of thunder as we arrived at the hospital? Well, it turned out the lightening knocked out the phones and computer system in the birth centre. We were the last people admitted before they closed the centre to new patients! That explained why we had such attentive midwives and meant that after the birth they needed to relocate us to the postnatal ward because their systems were still down. This wasn’t ideal because one of the main benefits of the birth centre is that each room is private and has a double bed a partner can share. The postnatal ward has bays separated by curtains and only a chair for a partner to sleep on. We started to pack up and they brought me a wheelchair. We were just about to move when the computer and phone system came back on! Miracle! We were allowed to stay! I settled into bed with Dave beside me and fed Indie for the first time with assistance and reassurance from the midwives and Eleonora. The midwives brought us tea and toast at this point. How British and the perfect comfort food! I also ate strawberries and dark chocolate. I had asked Dave to get prosciutto and brie at the store earlier in the day because I wasn’t allowed to have them during pregnancy. Little did I know he’d brought them with us to the hospital! Ha! The smell was a bit much for me right after delivery but he happily snacked on them. Eleonora made sure we were comfortable and happy before giving each of us a big hug and heading home. The midwives also gave us some space. I called my mom to share the news and Dave called his. By the time we put Indigo in her bassinet by our bed and tried to sleep it was around 2:30am. Dave slept well but I found it difficult to relax. I was on a hormonal high and wanted to stare at Indigo all night long. I knew I needed some rest and closed my eyes but didn’t really sleep. For her part, Indie slept and slept, exhausted from her entry into the world. 

I feel incredibly grateful that I had such a positive experience. It was humbling, empowering, and the most amazing day of my life.